Dear Beautiful,
What would life be like if we lived completely free of caring about the opinions of others? How much more would we be willing to try and do? How much more would we be willing to put ourselves out there if we never feared rejection? When I really stop to think, I wonder how much of the things I do and say in my life are done for other people. And not just what I do and say, but especially what I do not do and do not say. How much different would my life be if I stopped doing and not doing, and saying and not saying things for other people?
My mind can hardly comprehend this carefree life because I live so contrary to this idealistic world I am portraying. My desire to please others affects things, big and small. It affects whether or not I wear make-up. It affects whether or not I wear athletic pants or a pair of jeans. It affects whether I wear my accessories or go accessory-free. On a deeper level, it affects whether I display my true emotions or hide behind a mask. It affects whether I authentically share my experiences or a more condensed put-together version. It affects whether I express my honest opinions or a people-pleasing response.
What is so alluring about basing my worth and value on the opinions of others? Sure, we all want to be liked and strongly fear being rejected by our peers, but why base something so precious on something that ebbs and flows with a wardrobe change? Sometimes it feels like I just cannot help it. I am bombarded with the the opinions of others so many times a day that it feels like I have no choice, but to care. However, I would be lying if I said that and failed to take personal responsibility. I do have a choice, but I also want to be liked. I want to feel special. I want to feel like I have something to offer the world. But in a harsh reality, what do the clothes I am wearing have anything to do with that?
As much as I am embarrassed to admit this, I think it needs to be said. Sometimes after I share a post, I will refresh the page on my computer so I can see how many people have read it. What am I looking for? I long to be accepted. I want to be liked. I want people to care about what I have to say. I want my words to matter. I want my words to make a difference and impact others. I want the world and people to be different because of them. I want to be important. I want my life and existence to have purpose. I mean, don't we all?
Some of these desires are not inherently bad, but when they become what we are pursuing for our worth, value, and purpose, it becomes something it was not intended to be. God created us to desire love, worth, value, and purpose, but those things were designed to come from Him, not other people or things. I know it's a lot easier said than done - to pursue God for these things when other people and things are constantly before our eyes, but we've got to start somewhere. What if we started with using our people-pleasing tendencies as a simple reminder our need for Him instead of using our energy to earn the approval of others? It could be as simple as saying a prayer in the moment, asking God to be the One to fulfill your needs. Why not? We've got nothing to loose if we try to live differently, but everything to loose if we continue to be restricted by the constant bondage of living our lives for others.
Beauty Tip #13: The next time you're faced with the temptation to do or not do or say or not say something for the approval of others, take a moment to pray and ask God to remind you that He is One who fulfills your need for love, worth, value, and purpose.
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Monday, December 31, 2012
Here's to 2013
Dear Beautiful,
As 2012 comes to a close, I cannot help but do some reflecting. I know, I am officially jumping on the bandwagon as cheesy as it may be. Nevertheless, the close of one year and the beginning of another is a good time to reflect.
For us, 2012 was full of many blessings, but also some painful experiences. But because of those experiences, I know I am not the same person I was when the year began. My heart has some wounds that have not yet healed, but I have also grown in ways I never would have.
I am thankful I am not the same person I was a year ago. Time brings growth, maturity, wisdom, and beauty beyond skin deep, beauty that magnifies with time. Although we buy age defying creams, dye our hair to hide the gray, and get plastic surgery in hopes that these things will help us withstand the effects of time, another year comes and goes and we become a year older. No matter what we try, our physical beauty fades away.
I want true beauty, beauty that is beyond skin deep, beauty that magnifies with time. As we grow and mature, our hearts become even more beautiful. That's what I want. I don't want to be the same person in 2013. I want to yell less. I want to apologize quicker. I want to be less of a control freak. I want to worry less. I want to have less of my plans and trust God more.
These are a few of my hopes for 2013. I want to be a more beautiful person. I want to allow God's beauty to shine brightly through me. And this is my hope for you too. May you continue to grow and mature and brightly shine God's beauty, true beauty, beauty beyond skin deep.
Beauty Tip #12: Make a list of your hopes for 2013 - hopes that are focused on your inner beauty, and ask God to help bring change in those particular areas.
As 2012 comes to a close, I cannot help but do some reflecting. I know, I am officially jumping on the bandwagon as cheesy as it may be. Nevertheless, the close of one year and the beginning of another is a good time to reflect.
For us, 2012 was full of many blessings, but also some painful experiences. But because of those experiences, I know I am not the same person I was when the year began. My heart has some wounds that have not yet healed, but I have also grown in ways I never would have.
I am thankful I am not the same person I was a year ago. Time brings growth, maturity, wisdom, and beauty beyond skin deep, beauty that magnifies with time. Although we buy age defying creams, dye our hair to hide the gray, and get plastic surgery in hopes that these things will help us withstand the effects of time, another year comes and goes and we become a year older. No matter what we try, our physical beauty fades away.
I want true beauty, beauty that is beyond skin deep, beauty that magnifies with time. As we grow and mature, our hearts become even more beautiful. That's what I want. I don't want to be the same person in 2013. I want to yell less. I want to apologize quicker. I want to be less of a control freak. I want to worry less. I want to have less of my plans and trust God more.
These are a few of my hopes for 2013. I want to be a more beautiful person. I want to allow God's beauty to shine brightly through me. And this is my hope for you too. May you continue to grow and mature and brightly shine God's beauty, true beauty, beauty beyond skin deep.
Beauty Tip #12: Make a list of your hopes for 2013 - hopes that are focused on your inner beauty, and ask God to help bring change in those particular areas.
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Living Authentically
Dear Beautiful,
I have always valued authenticity, but when it comes to actually living it out, I am scared to death. I am afraid of not being accepted. I am afraid of not being loved. I am afraid of being judged. I am afraid of not measuring up. I am afraid of being the only one who has ever felt how I do or struggled how I struggle.
I am much more comfortable showing only part of who I am. Showing what can only be seen skin deep. However, I am learning that although, it seems more comfortable, it actually fuels the very things we are afraid of. Instead of protecting us, it leaves us feeling isolated, alone, rejected, unloved, and not good enough. How can we receive love, acceptance, and comfort if no one ever knows the pain we are hiding inside? How can we receive His love, comfort, guidance, and peace when we pretend like we can do it all on our own?
It is difficult for me to receive love and support from others and even God because I have to admit I need it. That is difficult for a person like me who likes to pretend like she has it altogether. A perfectionist at heart. But behind the pretending and perfectionist tendencies is just a person who is searching for love and acceptance. And those very tendencies that I believe will help me receive love and acceptance, actually prevent it.
In order to receive love, we must open up our hearts and our lives to our Creator and to one another. First and foremost, it is God who loves us unconditionally no matter our past and our present and all the baggage and junk that goes along with it. He is the only One who loves perfectly. He longs to free us from our search for love and acceptance by simply accepting the love He has for us.
I know it's easier said then done. I know it's frightening to put yourself out there, even to those you can trust. I also know it is scary to be known, but He will not reject you. Authenticity, vulnerability, and humility do not come naturally, nor are they easy. They involve risk, facing our fears, and laying down our pride. But God is showing me that authenticity is actually one of the most healing and beautiful things in the world.
Beauty Tip #11: Take time to journal and pray about the things that prevent you from being authentic and vulnerable, and ask Him to help you open up your heart to receive His love.
I have always valued authenticity, but when it comes to actually living it out, I am scared to death. I am afraid of not being accepted. I am afraid of not being loved. I am afraid of being judged. I am afraid of not measuring up. I am afraid of being the only one who has ever felt how I do or struggled how I struggle.
I am much more comfortable showing only part of who I am. Showing what can only be seen skin deep. However, I am learning that although, it seems more comfortable, it actually fuels the very things we are afraid of. Instead of protecting us, it leaves us feeling isolated, alone, rejected, unloved, and not good enough. How can we receive love, acceptance, and comfort if no one ever knows the pain we are hiding inside? How can we receive His love, comfort, guidance, and peace when we pretend like we can do it all on our own?
It is difficult for me to receive love and support from others and even God because I have to admit I need it. That is difficult for a person like me who likes to pretend like she has it altogether. A perfectionist at heart. But behind the pretending and perfectionist tendencies is just a person who is searching for love and acceptance. And those very tendencies that I believe will help me receive love and acceptance, actually prevent it.
In order to receive love, we must open up our hearts and our lives to our Creator and to one another. First and foremost, it is God who loves us unconditionally no matter our past and our present and all the baggage and junk that goes along with it. He is the only One who loves perfectly. He longs to free us from our search for love and acceptance by simply accepting the love He has for us.
I know it's easier said then done. I know it's frightening to put yourself out there, even to those you can trust. I also know it is scary to be known, but He will not reject you. Authenticity, vulnerability, and humility do not come naturally, nor are they easy. They involve risk, facing our fears, and laying down our pride. But God is showing me that authenticity is actually one of the most healing and beautiful things in the world.
Beauty Tip #11: Take time to journal and pray about the things that prevent you from being authentic and vulnerable, and ask Him to help you open up your heart to receive His love.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Blessings and Curses
Dear Beautiful,
A couple weeks ago I heard a message about the importance of speaking blessings opposed to curses over someone, and it got me thinking. It got me thinking about how quick we are to speak curses over ourselves, yet often neglect to speak blessings. It seems like the moment we make a mistake, we instantly begin beating ourselves up, "Why did you say that? You're so stupid." We get out our boxing gloves and continuously punch ourselves in the face instead of offering ourselves the grace we would offer a friend.
When a friends says or does the things we would beat ourselves up for, we quickly brush it off and recognize it as no big deal or a mistake. We are quick to offer support and encouragement because we know that choice or action or word does not define who they are. We know who they are. We know their hearts. We know their personalities. We know their friendship. We know their beauty. But when we say or do it, it's a tragedy that defines who we are. And it isn't just because we are drama queens. It's because we tend to critique our entire being, worth, and value on every individual decision we make, action we do, or word we say.
The root of the problem isn't what we do or say in that moment...it is our desire to be perfect. It isn't the choice that is made or the action that is done or the words that are said, it is the fact that in our minds, those decisions, actions, or words make us less than perfect. And when we are attempting to find our worth and value in our performance, we must be perfect or else. Or else, we are not worthy. We are not valuable. We are not lovable.
Somewhere along the way, we have strayed from God's words and what He says about us. It is not our performance that makes us worthy, valuable, or lovable. He offers us worth, value, and love because of who He is and what He has done for us. We need to begin receiving God's blessings and stop cursing ourselves. We need to receive His grace when we feel like we fail to measure up. We need to receive His forgiveness when we fail to do what is right. We need to accept His love when we fall short. We need to know that God does not simply define us by who we are in that moment, but by who we are in Him.
Beauty Tip #10: The next time you are tempted to speak curses over yourself, ask God to help you receive His blessings of grace, forgiveness, and love then take time to journal about your experience.
A couple weeks ago I heard a message about the importance of speaking blessings opposed to curses over someone, and it got me thinking. It got me thinking about how quick we are to speak curses over ourselves, yet often neglect to speak blessings. It seems like the moment we make a mistake, we instantly begin beating ourselves up, "Why did you say that? You're so stupid." We get out our boxing gloves and continuously punch ourselves in the face instead of offering ourselves the grace we would offer a friend.
When a friends says or does the things we would beat ourselves up for, we quickly brush it off and recognize it as no big deal or a mistake. We are quick to offer support and encouragement because we know that choice or action or word does not define who they are. We know who they are. We know their hearts. We know their personalities. We know their friendship. We know their beauty. But when we say or do it, it's a tragedy that defines who we are. And it isn't just because we are drama queens. It's because we tend to critique our entire being, worth, and value on every individual decision we make, action we do, or word we say.
The root of the problem isn't what we do or say in that moment...it is our desire to be perfect. It isn't the choice that is made or the action that is done or the words that are said, it is the fact that in our minds, those decisions, actions, or words make us less than perfect. And when we are attempting to find our worth and value in our performance, we must be perfect or else. Or else, we are not worthy. We are not valuable. We are not lovable.
Somewhere along the way, we have strayed from God's words and what He says about us. It is not our performance that makes us worthy, valuable, or lovable. He offers us worth, value, and love because of who He is and what He has done for us. We need to begin receiving God's blessings and stop cursing ourselves. We need to receive His grace when we feel like we fail to measure up. We need to receive His forgiveness when we fail to do what is right. We need to accept His love when we fall short. We need to know that God does not simply define us by who we are in that moment, but by who we are in Him.
Beauty Tip #10: The next time you are tempted to speak curses over yourself, ask God to help you receive His blessings of grace, forgiveness, and love then take time to journal about your experience.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
Dear Beautiful,
Don't believe the lies the mirror tells you when you are looking at your reflection. It is very deceptive and distorts the Truth. It tricks you into thinking that your hips are too wide or your butt is too big or your thighs are too fat. It presents a distorted picture of reality. It is quick to magnify what it refers to as "flaws" which in reality are things that others rarely notice. It takes your eyes towards "imperfections" and steals your attention from the beauty that is truly staring you in the face.
The mirror does not see what I see. It does not see your heart. It does not know your personality. It fails to see the beauty that radiates when you treat someone with loving-kindness. It does not see you reflecting the beauty of your Creator when you love one another as yourself. It does not notice the joy that glimmers from your beautiful smile. How could it? It is impossible for the mirror to see your beauty when it is focused on stealing your confidence, your innocence, your joy, your beauty by attempting to deceive you into believing that you are less than and not good enough.
A mirror cannot answer our questions of our identity, our worth, and our value. A mirror cannot and will not tell us that we are good enough. A mirror is deceptive and distorts our perception of God's beautiful creation - us. Please do not put your hopes, dreams, worth, value, and identity into a mirror's perception of you. It's perspective is limited and a distorted version of reality.
You were created for a purpose and with purpose. You were created to reflect the beauty of your Creator. A beauty that is beyond skin deep. A beauty that far exceeds any beauty displayed by one's physical appearance. A beauty the extends beyond a number on the scale and numerous birthdays. A beauty that is indescribable and undefinable, yet is so tangible that it touches other's hearts and changes who they are.
This is the beauty given to you by your Creator. This is beauty that comes from Him living in you and shining through you. I see this beauty in each one and you. And this beauty makes you one of the most beautiful women in the world.
Beauty Tip #9: What are some of the lies the mirror tells you? Make a list of these lies and pray with a trusted friend or on your own about these areas and ask God to show you His Truth.
Don't believe the lies the mirror tells you when you are looking at your reflection. It is very deceptive and distorts the Truth. It tricks you into thinking that your hips are too wide or your butt is too big or your thighs are too fat. It presents a distorted picture of reality. It is quick to magnify what it refers to as "flaws" which in reality are things that others rarely notice. It takes your eyes towards "imperfections" and steals your attention from the beauty that is truly staring you in the face.
The mirror does not see what I see. It does not see your heart. It does not know your personality. It fails to see the beauty that radiates when you treat someone with loving-kindness. It does not see you reflecting the beauty of your Creator when you love one another as yourself. It does not notice the joy that glimmers from your beautiful smile. How could it? It is impossible for the mirror to see your beauty when it is focused on stealing your confidence, your innocence, your joy, your beauty by attempting to deceive you into believing that you are less than and not good enough.
A mirror cannot answer our questions of our identity, our worth, and our value. A mirror cannot and will not tell us that we are good enough. A mirror is deceptive and distorts our perception of God's beautiful creation - us. Please do not put your hopes, dreams, worth, value, and identity into a mirror's perception of you. It's perspective is limited and a distorted version of reality.
You were created for a purpose and with purpose. You were created to reflect the beauty of your Creator. A beauty that is beyond skin deep. A beauty that far exceeds any beauty displayed by one's physical appearance. A beauty the extends beyond a number on the scale and numerous birthdays. A beauty that is indescribable and undefinable, yet is so tangible that it touches other's hearts and changes who they are.
This is the beauty given to you by your Creator. This is beauty that comes from Him living in you and shining through you. I see this beauty in each one and you. And this beauty makes you one of the most beautiful women in the world.
Beauty Tip #9: What are some of the lies the mirror tells you? Make a list of these lies and pray with a trusted friend or on your own about these areas and ask God to show you His Truth.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Control
Dear Beautiful,
I have a confession. I have an addiction to my desire for control. When I am really honest with myself, I must admit that I have at different times in my life attempted to control situations, circumstances, and even people. Feeling like I am in control gives me this false sense of security, safety, and predictability in a chaotic world.
Although, I know in my brain that my feeble attempt to control people, things, and situations is futile and quite honestly makes me a crazy person, I still try. Sometimes I feel like I cannot help it, but I know that is lie. However, this deep longing for stability, security, and safety within me drives me to at least try.
This year has been a year of growth. I have come face to face with my lack of control over my life, my circumstances, my desires, my hopes, and my dreams and it hurts. It's extremely painful and candidly, I hate every minute of it. Lately, however, I have been noticing that something is changing inside of me.
I am learning to let go. Slowly, very slowly, but I am learning. I am learning, since I have no control anyways, to spend less of my life, energy, and time attempting to control everything. I am learning that I am a much better person when I do not attempt to control everything. I am learning that I can more easily reflect God's peace when I trust His faithfulness and love for me.
I totally get our desire for control, I mean I really get it. However, I am challenging us to try to control less in our life. I am challenging us to find rest in God's control by believing He is trustworthy. I am challenging us to let go and receive the peace and freedom that comes from surrender.
I know how painful and difficult this is, but I also know how radiant we are when we don't actively attempt to control people, situations, and circumstances in our life and truly learn how to let go. It's not a one time surrender, but sometimes a minute by minute, day by day surrender. However, it is one that will bring much peace, freedom, rest, and beauty into our lives.
Beauty Tip #8: Spend some honest time in prayer asking God to show you the areas in your life that you attempt to control and ask Him to help you begin the process of letting go.
I have a confession. I have an addiction to my desire for control. When I am really honest with myself, I must admit that I have at different times in my life attempted to control situations, circumstances, and even people. Feeling like I am in control gives me this false sense of security, safety, and predictability in a chaotic world.
Although, I know in my brain that my feeble attempt to control people, things, and situations is futile and quite honestly makes me a crazy person, I still try. Sometimes I feel like I cannot help it, but I know that is lie. However, this deep longing for stability, security, and safety within me drives me to at least try.
This year has been a year of growth. I have come face to face with my lack of control over my life, my circumstances, my desires, my hopes, and my dreams and it hurts. It's extremely painful and candidly, I hate every minute of it. Lately, however, I have been noticing that something is changing inside of me.
I am learning to let go. Slowly, very slowly, but I am learning. I am learning, since I have no control anyways, to spend less of my life, energy, and time attempting to control everything. I am learning that I am a much better person when I do not attempt to control everything. I am learning that I can more easily reflect God's peace when I trust His faithfulness and love for me.
I totally get our desire for control, I mean I really get it. However, I am challenging us to try to control less in our life. I am challenging us to find rest in God's control by believing He is trustworthy. I am challenging us to let go and receive the peace and freedom that comes from surrender.
I know how painful and difficult this is, but I also know how radiant we are when we don't actively attempt to control people, situations, and circumstances in our life and truly learn how to let go. It's not a one time surrender, but sometimes a minute by minute, day by day surrender. However, it is one that will bring much peace, freedom, rest, and beauty into our lives.
Beauty Tip #8: Spend some honest time in prayer asking God to show you the areas in your life that you attempt to control and ask Him to help you begin the process of letting go.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Insecurity
Dear Beautiful,
Have you ever felt beat up by your insecurities? I know I
have. Sometimes I feel like they eat me alive. Thoughts of
self-doubt and negativity swirling around in my mind over and over feeling as
if there is no escape. Analyzing and reanalyzing my every move, words,
thoughts. Over and over and over and over again until I find myself
completely exhausted. Exhaustion that extends beyond my body to my mind,
my heart, and my soul. Sound familiar?
When I am plagued with insecurity it feels like I am fighting a
losing battle, oftentimes with no hope of recovery. I hate insecurity,
but I hate Satan even more for tempting us to think of ourselves as less than
who we are. When I am in the
midst of the battle, I have to remind myself that Satan is my enemy, as opposed to those I am tempted to compare myself to or even myself who I am tempted to
continuously beat up with self-doubt and hurtful words.
It is so hard not to fall into the trap of believing Satan's lies,
but I am pleading with you not to listen. He is referred to as the father
of lies (John 8:44) and will do all within his power to tear you down, but God always
provides a way out of temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13). When you feel like you’re being eaten alive
by insecurities, take time to pray, call a friend, or remind yourself about what
God says about you...
You are loved (Psalm 100:5).
You are beautiful (Psalm 139:14).
You are never alone (Deuteronomy 31:8).
You have worth and value (Matthew 10:29-31).
Lies must be fought with the Truth.
Don’t give up.
Keep fighting.
The Truth will win.
Beauty Tip #7:
Spend at least fifteen minutes this week reading about what God says
about you.
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