Monday, December 31, 2012

Here's to 2013

Dear Beautiful,

As 2012 comes to a close, I cannot help but do some reflecting.  I know, I am officially jumping on the bandwagon as cheesy as it may be.  Nevertheless, the close of one year and the beginning of another is a good time to reflect.

For us, 2012 was full of many blessings, but also some painful experiences.  But because of those experiences, I know I am not the same person I was when the year began.  My heart has some wounds that have not yet healed, but I have also grown in ways I never would have.

I am thankful I am not the same person I was a year ago.  Time brings growth, maturity, wisdom, and beauty beyond skin deep, beauty that magnifies with time.  Although we buy age defying creams, dye our hair to hide the gray, and get plastic surgery in hopes that these things will help us withstand the effects of time, another year comes and goes and we become a year older.  No matter what we try, our physical beauty fades away.

I want true beauty, beauty that is beyond skin deep, beauty that magnifies with time.  As we grow and mature, our hearts become even more beautiful.  That's what I want.  I don't want to be the same person in 2013.  I want to yell less.  I want to apologize quicker.  I want to be less of a control freak.  I want to worry less.  I want to have less of my plans and trust God more.

These are a few of my hopes for 2013.  I want to be a more beautiful person.  I want to allow God's beauty to shine brightly through me.  And this is my hope for you too.  May you continue to grow and mature and brightly shine God's beauty, true beauty, beauty beyond skin deep.

Beauty Tip #12:  Make a list of your hopes for 2013 - hopes that are focused on your inner beauty, and ask God to help bring change in those particular areas.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Living Authentically

Dear Beautiful,

I have always valued authenticity, but when it comes to actually living it out, I am scared to death.  I am afraid of not being accepted.  I am afraid of not being loved.  I am afraid of being judged.  I am afraid of not measuring up.  I am afraid of being the only one who has ever felt how I do or struggled how I struggle.

I am much more comfortable showing only part of who I am.  Showing what can only be seen skin deep.  However, I am learning that although, it seems more comfortable, it actually fuels the very things we are afraid of.  Instead of protecting us, it leaves us feeling isolated, alone, rejected, unloved, and not good enough.  How can we receive love, acceptance, and comfort if no one ever knows the pain we are hiding inside? How can we receive His love, comfort, guidance, and peace when we pretend like we can do it all on our own?

It is difficult for me to receive love and support from others and even God because I have to admit I need it.  That is difficult for a person like me who likes to pretend like she has it altogether.  A perfectionist at heart.  But behind the pretending and perfectionist tendencies is just a person who is searching for love and acceptance.  And those very tendencies that I believe will help me receive love and acceptance, actually prevent it.

In order to receive love, we must open up our hearts and our lives to our Creator and to one another.  First and foremost, it is God who loves us unconditionally no matter our past and our present and all the baggage and junk that goes along with it.  He is the only One who loves perfectly.  He longs to free us from our search for love and acceptance by simply accepting the love He has for us.

I know it's easier said then done.  I know it's frightening to put yourself out there, even to those you can trust.  I also know it is scary to be known, but He will not reject you.  Authenticity, vulnerability, and humility do not come naturally, nor are they easy.  They involve risk, facing our fears, and laying down our pride.  But God is showing me that authenticity is actually one of the most healing and beautiful things in the world.

Beauty Tip #11:  Take time to journal and pray about the things that prevent you from being authentic and vulnerable, and ask Him to help you open up your heart to receive His love.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Blessings and Curses

Dear Beautiful,

A couple weeks ago I heard a message about the importance of speaking blessings opposed to curses over someone, and it got me thinking.  It got me thinking about how quick we are to speak curses over ourselves, yet often neglect to speak blessings.  It seems like the moment we make a mistake, we instantly begin beating ourselves up, "Why did you say that?  You're so stupid."  We get out our boxing gloves and continuously punch ourselves in the face instead of offering ourselves the grace we would offer a friend.

When a friends says or does the things we would beat ourselves up for, we quickly brush it off and recognize it as no big deal or a mistake.  We are quick to offer support and encouragement because we know that choice or action or word does not define who they are.  We know who they are.  We know their hearts.  We know their personalities.  We know their friendship.  We know their beauty.  But when we say or do it, it's a tragedy that defines who we are.  And it isn't just because we are drama queens.  It's because we tend to critique our entire being, worth, and value on every individual decision we make, action we do, or word we say.

The root of the problem isn't what we do or say in that moment...it is our desire to be perfect.  It isn't the choice that is made or the action that is done or the words that are said, it is the fact that in our minds, those decisions, actions, or words make us less than perfect.  And when we are attempting to find our worth and value in our performance, we must be perfect or else.  Or else, we are not worthy.  We are not valuable.  We are not lovable.

Somewhere along the way, we have strayed from God's words and what He says about us.  It is not our performance that makes us worthy, valuable, or lovable.  He offers us worth, value, and love because of who He is and what He has done for us.  We need to begin receiving God's blessings and stop cursing ourselves.  We need to receive His grace when we feel like we fail to measure up.  We need to receive His forgiveness when we fail to do what is right.  We need to accept His love when we fall short.  We need to know that God does not simply define us by who we are in that moment, but by who we are in Him.

Beauty Tip #10:  The next time you are tempted to speak curses over yourself, ask God to help you receive His blessings of grace, forgiveness, and love then take time to journal about your experience.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

Dear Beautiful,

Don't believe the lies the mirror tells you when you are looking at your reflection.  It is very deceptive and distorts the Truth.  It tricks you into thinking that your hips are too wide or your butt is too big or your thighs are too fat.  It presents a distorted picture of reality.  It is quick to magnify what it refers to as "flaws" which in reality are things that others rarely notice.  It takes your eyes towards "imperfections" and steals your attention from the beauty that is truly staring you in the face.

The mirror does not see what I see.  It does not see your heart.  It does not know your personality.  It fails to see the beauty that radiates when you treat someone with loving-kindness.  It does not see you reflecting the beauty of your Creator when you love one another as yourself.  It does not notice the joy that glimmers from your beautiful smile.  How could it?  It is impossible for the mirror to see your beauty when it is focused on stealing your confidence, your innocence, your joy, your beauty by attempting to deceive you into believing that you are less than and not good enough.

A mirror cannot answer our questions of our identity, our worth, and our value.  A mirror cannot and will not tell us that we are good enough.  A mirror is deceptive and distorts our perception of God's beautiful creation - us.  Please do not put your hopes, dreams, worth, value, and identity into a mirror's perception of you.  It's perspective is limited and a distorted version of reality.

You were created for a purpose and with purpose.  You were created to reflect the beauty of your Creator.  A beauty that is beyond skin deep.  A beauty that far exceeds any beauty displayed by one's physical appearance.  A beauty the extends beyond a number on the scale and numerous birthdays.  A beauty that is indescribable and undefinable, yet is so tangible that it touches other's hearts and changes who they are.

This is the beauty given to you by your Creator.  This is beauty that comes from Him living in you and shining through you.  I see this beauty in each one and you.  And this beauty makes you one of the most beautiful women in the world.

Beauty Tip #9:  What are some of the lies the mirror tells you?  Make a list of these lies and pray with a trusted friend or on your own about these areas and ask God to show you His Truth.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Control

Dear Beautiful,

I have a confession.  I have an addiction to my desire for control.  When I am really honest with myself, I must admit that I have at different times in my life attempted to control situations, circumstances, and even people.  Feeling like I am in control gives me this false sense of security, safety, and predictability in a chaotic world.

Although, I know in my brain that my feeble attempt to control people, things, and situations is futile and quite honestly makes me a crazy person, I still try.  Sometimes I feel like I cannot help it, but I know that is lie.  However, this deep longing for stability, security, and safety within me drives me to at least try.

This year has been a year of growth.  I have come face to face with my lack of control over my life, my circumstances, my desires, my hopes, and my dreams and it hurts.  It's extremely painful and candidly, I hate every minute of it.  Lately, however, I have been noticing that something is changing inside of me.

I am learning to let go.  Slowly, very slowly, but I am learning.  I am learning, since I have no control anyways, to spend less of my life, energy, and time attempting to control everything.  I am learning that I am a much better person when I do not attempt to control everything.  I am learning that I can more easily reflect God's peace when I trust His faithfulness and love for me.

I totally get our desire for control, I mean I really get it.  However, I am challenging us to try to control less in our life.  I am challenging us to find rest in God's control by believing He is trustworthy.  I am challenging us to let go and receive the peace and freedom that comes from surrender.

I know how painful and difficult this is, but I also know how radiant we are when we don't actively attempt to control people, situations, and circumstances in our life and truly learn how to let go.  It's not a one time surrender, but sometimes a minute by minute, day by day surrender.  However, it is one that will bring much peace, freedom, rest, and beauty into our lives.

Beauty Tip #8:  Spend some honest time in prayer asking God to show you the areas in your life that you attempt to control and ask Him to help you begin the process of letting go.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Insecurity

Dear Beautiful,

Have you ever felt beat up by your insecurities?  I know I have.  Sometimes I feel like they eat me alive.  Thoughts of self-doubt and negativity swirling around in my mind over and over feeling as if there is no escape.  Analyzing and reanalyzing my every move, words, thoughts.  Over and over and over and over again until I find myself completely exhausted.  Exhaustion that extends beyond my body to my mind, my heart, and my soul.  Sound familiar?    

When I am plagued with insecurity it feels like I am fighting a losing battle, oftentimes with no hope of recovery.  I hate insecurity, but I hate Satan even more for tempting us to think of ourselves as less than who we are.  When I am in the midst of the battle, I have to remind myself that Satan is my enemy, as opposed to those I am tempted to compare myself to or even myself who I am tempted to continuously beat up with self-doubt and hurtful words.  

It is so hard not to fall into the trap of believing Satan's lies, but I am pleading with you not to listen.  He is referred to as the father of lies (John 8:44) and will do all within his power to tear you down, but God always provides a way out of temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13).  When you feel like you’re being eaten alive by insecurities, take time to pray, call a friend, or remind yourself about what God says about you...

You are loved (Psalm 100:5).  

You are beautiful (Psalm 139:14).  

You are never alone (Deuteronomy 31:8).  

You have worth and value (Matthew 10:29-31).  

Lies must be fought with the Truth. 

Don’t give up. 

Keep fighting. 

The Truth will win.

Beauty Tip #7:  Spend at least fifteen minutes this week reading about what God says about you.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Fragile

Dear Beautiful,

We all have 'em.  Those days when we’re feeling burdened by the weight of our problems or our pain.  Those days when it seems like all it will take is one more thing – big or tiny – and we will be headed for a breakdown.  I often to refer to myself as “fragile” when I am experiencing those moments, days, weeks, months, seasons.
In John 16:33 (NIV), Jesus says to his followers, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world.”  
I have always found this verse very interesting because Jesus basically says, “You are going to have trouble, pain, heartache, loss, and problems in this world...HOWEVER, remember I will be with you; I am mighty to save you; I have overcome the things you’re facing; I’m bigger than what you’re experiencing; and I will give you peace even in the midst of the ugliest circumstances.”  That's great and all, but honestly I have often wished this verse said, “Don’t worry about having problems or trouble because you won’t.”  

Now that I've written that, it sounds kind of silly and ridiculous, but the truth is, I feel it.  I mean, who wouldn't want a life free of trouble, pain, heartache, loss, and problems?  However, I guess if that’s what earth was like – problem and trouble-free, we wouldn’t need Heaven, and that's a place where we will finally have no more pain or tears and I look forward to that!  But how do we make it through in the meantime?

Somewhere along the way, many of us were told a lie that sounded something like this, “In order to be beautiful, you must be perfect and look like you have it all together 24/7.”  What a big fat lie!  Jesus speaks the Truth when he tells us that we are going to face trouble in this world, and yes, He reminds us of His promises and the hope He gives us even in the midst of trouble, but that does not deny the fact that He straight up tells us we will have trouble...So why do we pretend like we don’t have trouble or that we’re not hurting or carrying heavy burdens?

I know all too well how pretending to have it all together or appearing to be perfect seems to be the answer.  I have attempted to live the majority of my life this way.  However, I have painfully learned that it is one of the heaviest burdens to carry.  It is also one of the loneliest.  And from my experience, it made it almost impossible to love and accept myself and God's love.

When I pretend to perfect and attempt to hide my fragile moments, I not only hurt myself, I hurt you.  When we see another person who appears to have it all together, we immediately feel insecure and it greatly increases our desire to hide our pain and fragility.  In the process, it takes us further away from ourselves and the person God created us to be.

I am sorry for hurting you.  I am sorry for not showing you my real self.  I am fragile, just like you.  I am imperfect, just life you.  I have trouble, pain, heartache, loss, and problems, just like you.  YET, I am beautiful and so are you.  One of the most amazing gifts I have ever received from a person is permission to be myself.  When people in my life choose to be authentic and show their less than perfect self, it gives me permission to do the same, and it is the most beautiful, freeing thing in the world.  

Just a side note, I am not encouraging you to post your deepest, darkest secrets on Facebook or walk around with a banner than displays your pain and imperfections, but I am saying that when you're in the midst of those chosen few - those people in your life that you can truly trust, be yourself.  Take off your masks.  Don't hide your pain.  Be free from the burden of perfection.  

It's no secret that each of us has trouble and pain; Jesus Himself told us we were going to so...

Let's stop hiding.

Let's take off our masks.

Let's stop believing the lie that perfection is beauty.

Let's be our authentic selves and in the process give others permission to do the same.

Again, it's not perfection and having it all together that makes you beautiful, it's being your authentic self.  And when you are yourself, you give me permission to do the same, and I am so grateful for this amazing gift. 

Beauty Tip #6:  The next time you feel like running away and hiding your pain and/or imperfection, choose to share your authentic self with a trusted friend, family member, mentor, and/or your Creator.

Monday, October 15, 2012

You have a choice

Dear Beautiful,

Did you catch what I said?  Dear Beautiful.  BEAUTIFUL.  Think about that for a moment and allow it to sink in.  You are BEAUTIFUL.

We are so quick to receive negative things said to us or about us, yet we struggle to accept even a simple compliment.  Why is that?  Why do we insist that the negatives are true and reject the positives?

Today is the day for things to be different.  Why go on another day allowing all the negative statements we say to ourselves or hear from others to pierce our minds, hearts, and souls?  They steal our joy, our confidence, our freedom, and our lives.

It's time for a change.  The next time you catch yourself criticizing who you are or how you look, choose not to dwell on those statements.  Choose not to even give them a second thought.  They do not deserve your time, you feelings, your energy.  And the next time you're given a compliment, choose to accept it.  Think about it.  Repeat it to yourself.  Dare to believe it is true.

Beautiful, the time is now.  Don't allow another moment to pass you by.  Choose to make things different today.

Beauty Tip #5:  The next time you receive a compliment, don't simply dismiss it, dare to believe that it is true, and make a choice to believe it is.  Practice often.

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Change

Dear Beautiful,

You can't live your life without experiencing change.  Sometimes change is bad, but sometimes it can be oh so delightful.  However, in order to experience this delight, you must take risks.  Make that decision, use your talents, go back to school, do what you've always been dreaming about.

Yes, it will be frightening, and your insecurities may attempt to eat you alive, but it's worth it.  This fear will be momentary in comparison to your entire lifetime.  It will decrease and as your insecurities dissipate, your confidence will grow.  You will continue on your journey towards becoming who God created you to be.

This new thing will not be perfect and you will fail at times, but taking the risk, making that choice, pursuing that dream will be so much better than settling for what's safe and comfortable.  Please don't allow your fear and desire for comfort to prevent you from becoming who God created you to be.  It isn't worth it.  Don't miss out on what He has in store for you.

Beauty Tip #4:  Make a list of your fears that you feel prevent you from becoming who God created you to be.  Write a prayer to God about these fears and ask Him if there is anything He has wanted you to do that you've been afraid of.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Hope and a Future

Dear Beautiful,

I know your journey has been hard and long.  Don't give up.

God has a plan for your life.  A plan that includes hope and a future.
"'For I know the plans I have for you', says the Lord, 'They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope'."  Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT)
I know you've experienced really painful times in your life, and that these times have made it difficult to trust that God loves you and has good plans for you, but He does.  His Words are true even when they don't feel like it.  I promise.

Keep trusting.  Keep hoping.

You are loved.

You have hope.

You have a future.

Beauty Tip #3:  Make a list of some dreams and/or goals you have for your future.  Talk to God about them and ask Him for guidance.  If you feel like He's let you down during hard times, write a letter to Him about your feelings.  He will bring healing and hope again.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Shine Brightly

Dear Beautiful,

Your smile can light up a room and just the simple sound of your laughter brings joy to many.

Your beauty and joy are radiant and contagious.

Don't allow others to try to steal your beauty or joy.

Instead, surround yourself with people who embrace this beauty and encourage you and build you up.

You deserve to have people in your life who love who you are and encourage you to become who God created you to be.  

Smile.

Laugh.

Shine Brightly.

Beauty Tip #2:  Make a list of people in your life who embrace your beauty, encourage you, and build you up.  Make plans to spend time with one of these people in the coming week.

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Today, a journey begins...

Dear Beautiful,

I wish you could see yourself through my eyes.  I wish you could see the beauty given to you by your Creator.  I wish you could see the potential your life holds.

Keep holding on.  Keep hoping.  Keep dreaming.  One day you will see it too.

I am sorry that you have had people in your life who have not only failed to see your beauty, but have also attempted to destroy it.  This world hurts sometimes and sometimes it hurts most of the time.

But even in the midst of the pain, may you know you are loved.  God has so much love for you.  So much that it's difficult to put into words, but I know it's there because I feel it when I see you.

Today begins a journey about daring to believe these truths about you.

You are beautiful.

Your life holds incredible potential.

You are loved.

Keep holding on.  Keep hoping.  Keep dreaming.

One day you will see it too.


Beauty Tip #1:  Write a list of truths about yourself.  If you need help, consult with positive friends and family and/or search for Bible verses that talk about who you are in Christ.