Insecurity

Dear Beautiful,

Have you ever felt beat up by your insecurities?  I know I have.  Sometimes I feel like they eat me alive.  Thoughts of self-doubt and negativity swirling around in my mind over and over feeling as if there is no escape.  Analyzing and reanalyzing my every move, words, thoughts.  Over and over and over and over again until I find myself completely exhausted.  Exhaustion that extends beyond my body to my mind, my heart, and my soul.  Sound familiar?    

When I am plagued with insecurity it feels like I am fighting a losing battle, oftentimes with no hope of recovery.  I hate insecurity, but I hate Satan even more for tempting us to think of ourselves as less than who we are.  When I am in the midst of the battle, I have to remind myself that Satan is my enemy, as opposed to those I am tempted to compare myself to or even myself who I am tempted to continuously beat up with self-doubt and hurtful words.  

It is so hard not to fall into the trap of believing Satan's lies, but I am pleading with you not to listen.  He is referred to as the father of lies (John 8:44) and will do all within his power to tear you down, but God always provides a way out of temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13).  When you feel like you’re being eaten alive by insecurities, take time to pray, call a friend, or remind yourself about what God says about you...

You are loved (Psalm 100:5).  

You are beautiful (Psalm 139:14).  

You are never alone (Deuteronomy 31:8).  

You have worth and value (Matthew 10:29-31).  

Lies must be fought with the Truth. 

Don’t give up. 

Keep fighting. 

The Truth will win.

Beauty Tip #7:  Spend at least fifteen minutes this week reading about what God says about you.

Fragile

Dear Beautiful,

We all have 'em.  Those days when we’re feeling burdened by the weight of our problems or our pain.  Those days when it seems like all it will take is one more thing – big or tiny – and we will be headed for a breakdown.  I often to refer to myself as “fragile” when I am experiencing those moments, days, weeks, months, seasons.

In John 16:33 (NIV), Jesus says to his followers, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world.”  

I have always found this verse very interesting because Jesus basically says, “You are going to have trouble, pain, heartache, loss, and problems in this world...HOWEVER, remember I will be with you; I am mighty to save you; I have overcome the things you’re facing; I’m bigger than what you’re experiencing; and I will give you peace even in the midst of the ugliest circumstances.”  That's great and all, but honestly I have often wished this verse said, “Don’t worry about having problems or trouble because you won’t.”  

Now that I've written that, it sounds kind of silly and ridiculous, but the truth is, I feel it.  I mean, who wouldn't want a life free of trouble, pain, heartache, loss, and problems?  However, I guess if that’s what earth was like – problem and trouble-free, we wouldn’t need Heaven, and that's a place where we will finally have no more pain or tears and I look forward to that!  But how do we make it through in the meantime?

Somewhere along the way, many of us were told a lie that sounded something like this, “In order to be beautiful, you must be perfect and look like you have it all together 24/7.”  What a big fat lie!  Jesus speaks the Truth when he tells us that we are going to face trouble in this world, and yes, He reminds us of His promises and the hope He gives us even in the midst of trouble, but that does not deny the fact that He straight up tells us we will have trouble...So why do we pretend like we don’t have trouble or that we’re not hurting or carrying heavy burdens?

I know all too well how pretending to have it all together or appearing to be perfect seems to be the answer.  I have attempted to live the majority of my life this way.  However, I have painfully learned that it is one of the heaviest burdens to carry.  It is also one of the loneliest.  And from my experience, it made it almost impossible to love and accept myself and God's love.

When I pretend to perfect and attempt to hide my fragile moments, I not only hurt myself, I hurt you.  When we see another person who appears to have it all together, we immediately feel insecure and it greatly increases our desire to hide our pain and fragility.  In the process, it takes us further away from ourselves and the person God created us to be.

I am sorry for hurting you.  I am sorry for not showing you my real self.  I am fragile, just like you.  I am imperfect, just life you.  I have trouble, pain, heartache, loss, and problems, just like you.  YET, I am beautiful and so are you.  One of the most amazing gifts I have ever received from a person is permission to be myself.  When people in my life choose to be authentic and show their less than perfect self, it gives me permission to do the same, and it is the most beautiful, freeing thing in the world.  

Just a side note, I am not encouraging you to post your deepest, darkest secrets on Facebook or walk around with a banner than displays your pain and imperfections, but I am saying that when you're in the midst of those chosen few - those people in your life that you can truly trust, be yourself.  Take off your masks.  Don't hide your pain.  Be free from the burden of perfection.  

It's no secret that each of us has trouble and pain; Jesus Himself told us we were going to so...

Let's stop hiding.

Let's take off our masks.

Let's stop believing the lie that perfection is beauty.

Let's be our authentic selves and in the process give others permission to do the same.

Again, it's not perfection and having it all together that makes you beautiful, it's being your authentic self.  And when you are yourself, you give me permission to do the same, and I am so grateful for this amazing gift. 

Beauty Tip #6:  The next time you feel like running away and hiding your pain and/or imperfection, choose to share your authentic self with a trusted friend, family member, mentor, and/or your Creator.

You have a choice

Dear Beautiful,

Did you catch what I said?  Dear Beautiful.  BEAUTIFUL.  Think about that for a moment and allow it to sink in.  You are BEAUTIFUL.

We are so quick to receive negative things said to us or about us, yet we struggle to accept even a simple compliment.  Why is that?  Why do we insist that the negatives are true and reject the positives?

Today is the day for things to be different.  Why go on another day allowing all the negative statements we say to ourselves or hear from others to pierce our minds, hearts, and souls?  They steal our joy, our confidence, our freedom, and our lives.

It's time for a change.  The next time you catch yourself criticizing who you are or how you look, choose not to dwell on those statements.  Choose not to even give them a second thought.  They do not deserve your time, you feelings, your energy.  And the next time you're given a compliment, choose to accept it.  Think about it.  Repeat it to yourself.  Dare to believe it is true.

Beautiful, the time is now.  Don't allow another moment to pass you by.  Choose to make things different today.

Beauty Tip #5:  The next time you receive a compliment, don't simply dismiss it, dare to believe that it is true, and make a choice to believe it is.  Practice often.