Saturday, January 19, 2013

I wish I could care less

Dear Beautiful,

What would life be like if we lived completely free of caring about the opinions of others?  How much more would we be willing to try and do?  How much more would we be willing to put ourselves out there if we never feared rejection?  When I really stop to think, I wonder how much of the things I do and say in my life are done for other people.  And not just what I do and say, but especially what I do not do and do not say.  How much different would my life be if I stopped doing and not doing, and saying and not saying things for other people?

My mind can hardly comprehend this carefree life because I live so contrary to this idealistic world I am portraying.  My desire to please others affects things, big and small.  It affects whether or not I wear make-up.  It affects whether or not I wear athletic pants or a pair of jeans.  It affects whether I wear my accessories or go accessory-free.  On a deeper level, it affects whether I display my true emotions or hide behind a mask.  It affects whether I authentically share my experiences or a more condensed put-together version.  It affects whether I express my honest opinions or a people-pleasing response.

What is so alluring about basing my worth and value on the opinions of others?  Sure, we all want to be liked and strongly fear being rejected by our peers, but why base something so precious on something that ebbs and flows with a wardrobe change?  Sometimes it feels like I just cannot help it.  I am bombarded with the the opinions of others so many times a day that it feels like I have no choice, but to care.  However, I would be lying if I said that and failed to take personal responsibility.  I do have a choice, but I also want to be liked.  I want to feel special.  I want to feel like I have something to offer the world.  But in a harsh reality, what do the clothes I am wearing have anything to do with that?

As much as I am embarrassed to admit this, I think it needs to be said.  Sometimes after I share a post, I will refresh the page on my computer so I can see how many people have read it.  What am I looking for?  I long to be accepted.  I want to be liked.  I want people to care about what I have to say.  I want my words to matter.  I want my words to make a difference and impact others.  I want the world and people to be different because of them.  I want to be important.  I want my life and existence to have purpose.  I mean, don't we all?

Some of these desires are not inherently bad, but when they become what we are pursuing for our worth, value, and purpose, it becomes something it was not intended to be.  God created us to desire love, worth, value, and purpose, but those things were designed to come from Him, not other people or things.  I know it's a lot easier said than done - to pursue God for these things when other people and things are constantly before our eyes, but we've got to start somewhere.  What if we started with using our people-pleasing tendencies as a simple reminder our need for Him instead of using our energy to earn the approval of others?  It could be as simple as saying a prayer in the moment, asking God to be the One to fulfill your needs.  Why not?  We've got nothing to loose if we try to live differently, but everything to loose if we continue to be restricted by the constant bondage of living our lives for others.

Beauty Tip #13:  The next time you're faced with the temptation to do or not do or say or not say something for the approval of others, take a moment to pray and ask God to remind you that He is One who fulfills your need for love, worth, value, and purpose.